As The Eyes Open.

" Elevator To Heaven "

Music.. Music is the purest of all forms of art I'd say.
Music speaks to me, and I bet it does the same to everybody.
Music knows no limits, yet we do.
Music does the healing, yet none of us does.
No antidepressants have ever been as helping as music is. Matter of fact, antidepressants force things and hide other things.

Antidepressants make tears disappear when you're so in need of crying.
Antidepressants control your facial expressions, hide sadness and fear, show the fakest of them smiles.
Music does the healing right, even if temporarily.
Music knows what you're going through.
Music lets you control it. YES. When it comes to music, you're in control, whether it is for what you hear or what you create. YOU'RE IN CONTROL.

Control. I fear it, and when I'm afraid, music does the calming down.
Control is power, and power is control. But controlling one's own self means having power on one's self. Isn't that an impossible task? Doesn't it look aweful once we revert back to reality after loosing it?

I don't even know what reality is anymore.. I doubt the things I see with my own eyes.
I don't believe my own brain anymore. I'm only 20 and it's already a great dilemma.
Shit that scares me the most is that I don't know what I'm doing and what I'm not. I'm afraid that what I think I'm living right now is but an illusion. I'm afraid I'm doing stuff that I'm not conscious about.

Consciousness is a whole ocean. A sky. A dilemma in itself.
It scares the hell out of me, knowing that at some point, I might act up while I'm consciously off. And knowing in itself is a problem, because why would I say I know when I'm not sure about the wellness of the links between my body parts and my brain? I might sense stuff that aren't there and sense nothing when in reality, I'm being burnt. Isn't that scary?
That's the thing about knowing I guess.. It's always relative and uncertain. It's always wronged by our doubts and fear.

Consciousness and knowing share this very common bond which is the unrelativity! Consciousness isn't always garanteed. Same goes for knowing, and as we may be wrong about some information, we may also be wrong about what we think we're conscious of.
What we sense isn't always concrete, but I'm afraid it might be real yet hidden out of sight.

Link the dots my child, who knows, You might come out with new rules for the whole universe, but until that happens, you'll still be in denial of the aweful things you've done, and you'll look for excuses, as silly as they may be, to justify the things you weren't even "awake" while doing...