Radiohead - Nude
-It's been 2 hours and we're still on the road. How far is this place anyway?
-Are you bored?
-I'm just tired.
-But you're in a car, and you're not even driving. How come you're tired?
-I'm tired of this deafening silence! You've said no word since we hopped in, you haven't even stopped so we could have a drink or even look eachother in the eyes.. I didn't ask you where we'd go at first because I didn't give a damn about the distance, because I thought that as long as I'm around you, distance and time will never matter, that places we'd visit will always look beautiful and feel so unique even if it's a graveyard we're visiting, that people around us won't matter even if we're miles away from eachother, let alone if you're here by my side .. What happened? Why are you being someone else? Or is it me who has changed? Is it me who's pushing you away?
I want answers.
-I'm sorry.. I ..
-I said I want answers, not an apology.
-Do you trust me?
-More than you'll ever know.
-Then could you please try not to panic? You don't understand, it's definitely not what you think it is.
-Well, then explain! And do not ask me not to panic! You've known me for quite a long time now so you have no right to ask for such a thing.
-I'm so sorry, sweetness. I know how insecure you'd get over the tiniest details, but I swear to you, it is not what you think it is. I am not tired of you. No. Not even close to being tired. You are not pushing me away. No. Not even by a single inch. I still enjoy your company, I still want to go places with you, I still want us to take the time to look in eachothers' eyes in the middle of the street while people are rushing and breathing faster, I still want to stop by our favourite coffee shop to drink dark coffee and talk about whatever we want, I still want to go on rides with you not knowing the destination. You have no idea how important I think those details are to me.. But I think you do have an idea about how much YOU are important to me, so please rest your head and tell your imagination to stop taking you to areas you're not supposed to step into.
-Can I get an explaination now?
-I have so much to say. I want to say it all once we get to where I'm taking you, but while we're on the way, I want to keep reminding myself of every word I'm supposed to say because.. Trust me, every word I will say is of huge importance, which is why I kept silent all the way, trying to stay focused.
I kept focusing on all your details meanwhile. You know I always want to refresh my memory, I always want to remind myself of you: How many times a day you blink or even yawn, how bright you shine when you smile, and how many times a day I can make you smile. You're to be remembered, you're so precious. Those details I memorize help me see a perfect picture of you in my dreams or as I lay awake, thinking of new adventure we should go for.
-Isn't it strange? My insecurities are pushing it too far, and I think I've been hard on you for no reason at all. It's all over.
-You got over your insecurities? Now that's something to feel happy about!
-No, love. I'm over you.
-BUT WAIT.. WHAT HAPPENED?
-I'll give it a shot my dear. I'll try to change every changeable thing about me, I'll try to change my vision angle, I'll let some light in.. I'm willing to paint my room in different colors, wear girly clothes, smile at strangers and kick my insecurity's butt, go out more often with some other people, play music that everybody else listens to.. I'll also get rid of all my books, I'll buy some Paolo Coelho novels instead.
-BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU LOVE ! THAT'S NOTHING LIKE YOU!
-Let go of all this crap please. We both know that I ain't got nowhere to go, the way I am now..
-So you've decided that..
-I still want to hear what you wanted to tell me.
-Alright then. Let's make it quick: I've been thinking for days now.. we both love eachother, but the world's cruelty is pushing it too far.. You're losing it, I'm tired, trying to protect you from everything and everyone, including your own self.. This is not the way things should go.. I love you, with all those insecurities, all the uncontrollable fear you've got, and all the "wrong" decisions you've made.. I love your sad smiles, your tired yet sparkling eyes, your very thin voice, the way you try to hide your lips as you talk, the way you look at those very few things that you love, the way you hide your face with your long hair when you're unsure about something, the way you blush when you tell me you love me, the fact that a very cute smile of hope and strength covers your lips whenever you talk about your future. I love it when you get lost, listening to music, when you sigh as you drink you coffee, when you laugh at the silliest acts or jokes even though I know that it's not a good sign.. I love those details that make you who you are, and I love the fact that I can put up with your every mood..
I can't stay still, seeing you suffocate despite the fact that I'm by your side..
We'll both die here and now.
- ..
*drifts*
*crashes*
Not to be continued.
